Help me with my writing? It would be good if you gave opinions too.?

Whoa that really scares me ! One thing for sure a fog would dig into your bones and I don't get that sentence. If your trying to make it scary try something like the fog sent shiver down my spine causing my brain to be on high alert or something better. You can't write 6 in number you have to use words like six unless its a number over ten. And six people is very drastic for someone young and in experienced. I think maybe two or three people would be more suitable. Anyway enjoy writing!